


nothing but a shadow

by wishingswell



Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, M/M, lapslock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-11
Updated: 2019-12-11
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:54:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21758656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wishingswell/pseuds/wishingswell
Summary: jae's got voices keeping him up all night, but it's brian's choice to be up all night with him.
Relationships: Kang Younghyun | Young K & Park Jaehyung | Jae, Kang Younghyun | Young K/Park Jaehyung | Jae
Comments: 3
Kudos: 88
Collections: JYP JUKEBOX ROUND 2: OF MONSTERS AND MEN





	nothing but a shadow

**Author's Note:**

> written for jyp jukebox round 2 and inspired by mountain sound by of monsters and men.

there’s a special kind of bone deep exhaustion that comes from working 13 hour days, practicing new songs for their comeback while also keeping on top of the setlist for their upcoming tour, and sleeping when and where they can, and it’s driving jae a little bit insane. every time he closes his eyes, even in the calm darkness of his room, he hears a voice calling his name. when he opens them again, there’s no one there, as if they’d just vanished around the corner. it’s enough to freak him out, to have him staying awake even longer than he needs to in the hope that eventually he’ll just slip into unconsciousness without too much in-between. 

their newest title track is killing his fingers, and he curses under his breath as they slip from the proper position for what must be the hundredth time.

“shit, sorry,” he apologizes quickly, and sungjin just shakes his head.

“let’s call it a night,” he says, and jae glances at the clock—it’s already nearing one a.m. 

“sorry,” jae repeats, but sungjin just claps him on the shoulder as he starts unplugging his guitar. 

“it’s fine. no one’s getting any better, let’s all just get some rest,” he says, probably meant to be a reassurance. it isn’t much of one, but jae appreciates the gesture. 

even as they load into the car so sungjin can drive them home, jae knows he won’t be able to sleep. he’s nowhere near tired enough to just pass out and he doesn’t think he can take another night of hearing that voice without completely losing it, so he resigns himself to watching youtube until sunrise, already pulling out his phone before they’re even out of the car.

when they pull into the parking garage below their building, though, his way out is blocked by brian, who is fully asleep with his mouth open and forehead pressed to the window.

“brian,” jae says, bumping brian’s shoulder with his own, jostling harder when brian doesn’t even stir. “brian we’re home.”

brian groans, tongue darting out to wet his lips as he finally moves. “are we?”

“yeah,” jae answers, rolling his eyes. “so it’s time to get out.” sungjin and wonpil have already gotten out of the front and dowoon remains unbothered on the other side of jae, but jae still presses on. “c’mon man, dowoon has to pee.”

“well if it’s for dowoon,” brian answers, voice deep and rough with sleep as he undoes his seatbelt and practically stumbles out of the car. 

jae snorts, but when he’s out of the car he places a hand on brian’s back to steady him. “come one, let’s just go up.” 

the three youngest members all yawn on their way up in the elevator, and sungjin stares silently at the doors until they reach their floor. jae’s hand eventually drops from the small of brian’s back, but he catches sungjin’s eyes in their reflection on the doors immediately after, quickly averting his gaze to stare at the floor. 

once they’re inside, brian finally peels away from jae’s side where he’s stuck despite no longer being held there, and the other three all make for their own rooms as quickly as they can.

“night hyung,” brian chirps, heading for his room as well.

“night,” jae replies, but his sigh of frustration after must give him away. 

“everything okay?” brian asks, swiping at his tired eyes with the edge of his sleeve. 

“fine,” jae answers, brushing off the question because, as always, he assumes no one actually cares to hear the answer.

not brian.

“hyung,” brian says, poking at jae’s hip. “you don’t have to do everything on your own, you know. is everything okay?”

“i can’t go to sleep,” jae blurts. brian cocks his head, eyes widening.

“what, like you aren’t tired?” he asks, like it’s unfathomable. to brian, it probably is.

“i—” jae starts, stopping himself when he realizes he’s not exactly comfortable revealing what’s been happening. maybe that’s not it. maybe he’s just afraid of brian looking at him differently. like he’s crazy. jae can’t really think of anything worse. 

but brian’s still looking at him, eyes round and questioning, features incredibly soft in a stark contrast to his usual sharp angles and strong gaze. 

“when i try to sleep i keep hearing things,” jae admits. “and it’s really starting to freak me out so. i can’t go to sleep.”

“oh,” brian breathes. “okay. we won’t sleep then.”

jae snorts in disbelief. “yeah, like you’re gonna give up sleep for anything.”

“i’d give it up for you, hyung,” brian says, shrugging. “that’s what teammates are for. besides, i had a nap in the car, i’m good.”

“i don’t need a babysitter,” jae says, and brian’s eyes seem to darken somehow.

“what, i’m not allowed to worry about you? you don’t have to be a martyr, just let me hang out with you until you can sleep. is that so hard?”

jae swallows. normally brian would be the opposite of intimidating right now, face a bit puffy, cheeks tinged pink, and soft black hair tousled from his earlier nap, but something in his expression conveys total sincerity.

“fine,” he relents, trying not to sound too happy about it. “but if you fall asleep on me you’re officially my least favorite.”

“noted.” brian’s soft smile is nearly gut wrenching, and jae has to look away. “so, what are we gonna do for the rest of the evening?”

jae stiffens, uncomfortable with having to choose an activity when all he really wants to do is sit in silence. “usually i just play on my phone.”

“do we have to stay home?” brian asks, and jae considers it a moment.

“no,” he says. “we can go back out if you want.” normally he’d balk at the idea of leaving the apartment past midnight—he’s not eighteen anymore—but for brian, he’ll go anyway. not that brian needs to know that.

brian grins. “let’s go see a movie.”

jae breathes easily, the idea of sitting in a dark room for two hours much more comforting than some of their other options. “okay,” he agrees. “okay, let’s go.”

the walk there is comfortable, the day’s summer humidity having faded away somewhat. they stay mostly quiet, but jae is acutely aware of brian’s presence next to him. he steals occasional glances, but brian just looks ahead, the moon lighting up the details of his profile in a way that steals jae’s breath. you’d think that after living together for seven years jae would no longer be amazed by brian’s face, but it’s just something he thinks he’ll never get tired of looking at. 

he stares for longer than he means to, and he has to tear his eyes away. somehow, it feels like trespassing. 

jae is content to follow brian to the ticket kiosk, feet dragging slightly as he admires the empty theater. it’s creepy in the best way, just a bit echoey when he starts to hum the hook of their newest title track under his breath. 

“hyung,” brian says suddenly, tugging on jae’s sleeve to draw his attention back. “look! they’re playing toy story in twenty minutes!”

“oh?” jae hums, pretending like he cares for any reason other than brian’s excitement. “let’s watch that then.” 

brian grins, going through the motions of getting the tickets until it gets to paying, which is when jae makes sure to elbow him out of the way to shove his credit card into the reader while brian is distracted reaching for his. 

"hyung--" brian starts, surely about to say how he just wants to do something nice, but jae just rolls his eyes. 

"it's my fault we're here in the first place, at least let me buy the damn tickets."

"thank you hyung," brian says, voice soft and tooth achingly sweet, and jae has take a deep breath in through his nose to center himself. it's going to be a long night.

the movie does something to take jae away from his thoughts, though it would probably do more if he didn’t continue to steal glances at brian all throughout, watching to see if brian was enjoying himself. on a few occasions, he looks only to find brian looking back, and he isn’t really sure what all to make of that. 

when it’s over, brian waxes poetic about the ending as they step back out into the summer night, jae content to listen with the occasional hum of agreement. if he was more present he might offer his own commentary, but right now it’s nice to let brian’s interest in the story carry them through. 

when brian’s done, he’s a little out of breath, cheeks tinged pink by either the warm air or embarrassment—jae’s not sure he cares which. brian’s beautiful either way. 

they’re not wandering home, per say, just in that general direction, but jae is content to walk in silence until brian interrupts again. 

"so," brian starts, and jae braces himself to tell brian no, he can't sleep yet, but you are by all means welcome to go home. that's not what comes, though. "so," brian repeats when jae doesn't acknowledge him. "mcdonalds?" 

jae laughs at the suddenness of it. “aren’t you supposed to be on a diet?” he asks. 

brian just grins. “if only you see me then it doesn’t count.”

“just don’t complain to me when your face is puffy all day tomorrow,” jae whistles, but he’s smiling anyway. nothing hits like late night mcdonalds, everyone knows that. 

brian doesn’t argue this time when jae pays for the both of them, just steps up on his tiptoes so he can rest his chin on jae’s shoulder as he dictates his order, jae dutifully inputting it on the screen. he knows he should complain about how clingy brian gets when he’s tired, but jae actually kind of loves it. it’s nice to not have to ask for it sometimes. 

they head up to the second floor with their food; a bulgogi mushroom burger and large fries for jae, two mcchickens and mozzarella sticks for brian. brian picks a corner booth, the vinyl seat covering creaking as he settles in across from jae, melting into the seat like he intends to stay there a while.

they don’t talk much at first, too engrossed in their food to worry about awkward silence. not that silence in usually awkward between them—not after all these years. 

jae’s still working on his fries by the time brian’s done tearing through both his sandwiches, and he snorts as brian leans back against the wall with a content sigh.

“happy?” he asks, and brian gives him a lazy smile. he leans forward, bracing his elbows on the table and resting his chin on his knuckles.

“yeah,” he answers, “yeah. this was good. i needed this.”

“of course, you always need food.”

brian shakes his head. “i didn’t mean the food. well, sort of. but i just. i needed some time that wasn’t either working or sleeping. so thanks for letting me stay up with you hyung.”

“‘s no problem,” jae replies, careful to sound as casual as possible. all that’s ruined though, because brian leans a little more to the right and the yellow lighting of the restaurant illuminates the scar beneath his lip and jae can’t help but blurt out, “where’d you get that from?”

“this?” brian asks, index finger running from the corner of his mouth till it covers the scar jae was asking about, still nearly hidden in the shadow of his lip. jae nods wordlessly and brian purses his mouth as he pauses to think, bringing the scar even further into the light.

“i don’t know,” he answers finally. “i’ve had it as long as i can remember. i think my mom told me once i was running and tripped over something, but.” he shrugs. “sorry it’s not a more interesting story.”

“it’s okay,” jae replies easily. “i didn’t ask for interesting.”

“you say weird stuff sometimes, hyung,” brian says, scar disappearing once again as his lips stretch into a smile. the comment should sting, but it doesn’t. jae doesn’t have to wonder why.

he yawns by way of answer, and that seems to make brian happy. “do you think you’re tired enough to sleep now?” he asks, somewhat excitedly, and jae considers it for a moment.

“yeah,” he answers, stifling another yawn. “yeah i think i am.”

brian beams, but when jae looks closely, his eyes betray how tired he is. “let’s go home then, hyung.”

jae brings the tips of his fingers to his mouth, licking the last of the salt from them before he stands. “yeah, let’s go home.”

for the first time in a long while, jae feels no apprehension about going back to the apartment for the night, and when he’s walking with brian next to him it doesn’t take a genius to figure out why. 

when they’re home, brian turns to him as they cross the living room, waving cutely like they’re not going to see each other again in just a few hours. “‘night hyung,” he says, stifling a yawn into his sleeve.

“good night, bri,” jae echoes. and it is. 

**Author's Note:**

> find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/bribeombot)


End file.
